Today I want to talk about something very special to me. My identity! This is a little story about faith, identity and the importance of knowing true identity.
The Story… Once upon a time, (don’t you love stories that start like that!)
I worked in a place that requires an identity card to get in and out of the building and to access computers. One day on a lovely Sunny lunchtime I decided to have lunch in the park. Upon getting back to the building where I work, I realised my identity card was missing out of its holster. Keeping positive I denied any thought I could have lost it and replaced negative thoughts with positive ones. Nothing can be lost, my identity is in God, I thought. So back to the park I went and sure enough, there it was lying on the ground where I had been. I picked it up, noted that the holster wasn’t made very well, in fact it was like it was made upside down with the gap to insert my card at the bottom not the top. Gravity suggests that anything material must be drawn towards the earth. I thought that’s a stupid design, I need to get a new holster so this experience doesn’t happen again.
About a week later, returning to the office I realised my identity card was gone yet again. It had dropped out of the holder. I went back downstairs to retrace my steps. Upside down just outside the office on the pavement was my card. I picked it up, said thank you to God and went back to work reminding myself I needed to change the holster.
Not long after, the Friday night 9th March, I worked back late as I had the opportunity to do so. Everyone had left for the day. I left work alone and in the quietness felt content for having done a good days work. When I got home I removed my holster from around my neck and again realised my identity card was again missing. 3 times I thought to myself. How many times does it have to happen before I to do what I know I should.
I thought perhaps I lost it at the train station and that someone will find it there and hand it in. I did some prayer on it, knowing that nothing could be lost and certainly not my identity, always intact, pure and perfect, complete in God, safe in God, loved by God.
I worked on knowing that my identity, my true self, no matter what seems to happen in the so-called material world, could not be lost or even compromised. That weekend I did a lot of prayer and research about my identity being in God, spiritual and not of matter. No materialism at all. I prayed to know that God is governing and that God knows where everything is. My identity is not in a card and all that God made is infinite, the only thing I can loose is a false sense…
I prayed to know myself better as God’s spiritual expression, expressing Spirit, joy, happiness, divine energy, life, perfection, etc. This wasn’t any specific prayer, I wasn’t sitting down to pray that my card would be found, returned or anything like that. I basically just keeping my thoughts pure, doing lots of reading and research to know God better. ‘Unceasing prayer’ you could call it.
I found some insightful you tube videos (but didn’t facebook the one that made the difference though I have the date 9th March) and even entertained the thought of my identity card de-materialising and re-materising but then correcting my thought to know that there is no materialism to dematerialise, no beginning and end, no entry or exit point, no life in matter and no death in matter – no matter! No past or future, only here and now. Only one existence. All identity is in God so that is all I can identify with I reasoned. I am already in God’s kingdom, always have been, always will be, I am and everything truly is in its right place. We are where we are meant to be, in God’s kingdom which is all good. and spiritual.
I really enjoyed reinforcing the nothingness of matter and rejoicing that God made everything good. It was a good reminder that we cannot lose our right place, we live in a spiritual world, right here, right now. I had a really highly spirited good weekend, full of lots of happy positive thoughts. The concepts that my identity is in God and that God is Spirit so therefore I am spiritual neither born or of matter took on a special significance.
Well over the weekend it did cross my mind once that I would have to get into work early. It takes about half an hour to get a temporary card and organise access but that was only if no one had handed my access card in at the train station. I only entertained that thought once and threw it out of mind. I was certain God had my identity in his control, it couldn’t be lost. Someone would be sure to hand it in at the train station. Every other thought was positive and based on the truths I had been learning about living in God as Christ Jesus taught.
So off to work I went on Monday morning and I wasn’t early! I was confident I would find my identity card at the train station. (note to self – God has many solutions, God is the Solution – never dictate to God how to fix something, he already knows all. Only outline God’s allness and completeness, his harmony and oneness. ‘God knows what we have need of before we ask’. Just know ‘wonderful things are happening’). I checked at the lost and found at the Station, nothing! That was disappointing, for a moment til I changed my thought. That’s ok, I’m happy to lose a false sense of identity. My true identity can never be lost.
That card made of matter doesn’t identify me, not really, God does. In fact, matter doesn’t identify with Me and I don’t identify with matter. I am God’s spiritual child, living in God’s spiritual kingdom. I get to work and phone in for someone to let me in as I can not get in or out the building without my access card. I sat down at my desk. I looked at my computer and there in the card slot is my identity card. True, it had never been lost in the first place. Thank you God.
Did I leave it there, all along? Good question and one worthy of an answer. Maybe, but then how did I get out the building? I cannot get out of the building without my card. I was of course quite wrapped, quietly excited myself. I wanted to share this experience with the world. God is real, God works! If someone had put it there, that was God at work too and who am I to ask God how he did it. I was just grateful. I have to work out my own salvation, it is the demand of the hour, every hour.
Don’t try to analyze God’s work, a simple expression of gratitude is enough. If a person did find my card they would have to know who I am and where my desk is, more over they would have to come in over the weekend and only a limited number of staff have access to do this. I waited a few days to see if anyone mentioned to me that they had found my card so I could thank them. No one did and no one left a message or a note. I asked the people in my direct area, not them, they weren’t my ‘angels’ at the weekend.
By the following Wednesday no-one had come forward so I was contemplated giving a testimony at the local church I started to go to about 8 months back. It wasn’t a healing in a material sense but it certainly to me was a demonstration of God loving care for man when we put our trust in him. I use to go as a young girl to Sunday School. I was lucky in the sense that I was receptive to Christ ~ many times. A testimony about how nothing can be lost, even me! (I still haven’t given that testimony ~ maybe still I think of myself as a little lost, still seeking out answers; for every question answered, I ask more questions. I guess I am very inquisitive, I guess this is my way of remembering so I never look back!).
Well that Wednesday, that lunchtime, I went to buy some lunch. Upon my return, you guessed it, I had lost my card again. I couldn’t believe it, impossible. What is the purpose of this I asked myself. Nothing can be lost so how can I lose my card, again? What am I meant to learn from this? I was doing so well, I thought. How can I give a demonstration of nothing being lost when it’s lost again? I backtracked my steps, twice then something I read dawned on me, there can be no retrograde step. And I will quote this because it is an important lesson for me.
‘truth cannot be reversed, but the reverse of error is true. An improved belief cannot retrograde.’ S & H 442:16
‘As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.’ Proverbs 26:11
‘Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.’ Proverbs 9:6
‘For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:’ Proverbs 23:7
The card was no where to be found, I reasoned someone must of picked it up. It was quite ironic, here I am praying nothing can be lost while I am looking for this card I believe I have lost = just stupid – foolish. The point is to know it is not lost, truly know it, know why, hold onto that truth and be patient. I started heading back to the office thinking about how God is Mind, God is all Mind, there is no mortal or carnal mind in God’s kingdom. Only one Mind and everyone is governed by this one Mind, all is good and all is working together for good. I prayed along these lines, knowing we are all governed by God and that God sends his angel thoughts to everyone.
While walking back to work I scanned the ground in case it was there – still foolish because that search was human nature not God governed. I got back to work, my co-worker let me in. She expressed sympathy for me.
So I’m in the office, I have no card again! I have no idea how God is going to work it out for me. God is Mind, all intelligence, I’ve already been proven wrong, last time, I planned it, it would be at the station. No, this time I will trust God completely. He has the situation under control. I sit down and think now do I just wait, they (my co-workers) are going to look at me quite strange. Now that is a thought ready for externalisation though extermination would be more appropriate!
I paused and about 30 seconds later (what felt like eternity with these eyes watching me!) I thought God’s got it covered I’ll just do what I need to do. Just because I am doing what is expected of me doesn’t me I don’t have faith or trust in God. I asked one of my co-workers to complete the form confirming my identity! (yep we need to confirm each others identity! ‘Love is reflected in love’). I rang our I.T. section and told them I had lost my card. My coworker gave me the verification number (as evidence I was who I was!) and they gave me a temporary password and started to talk about the process of having to book in get a new photo, make an appointment, cancel the card, etc. My boss came up with a note, ‘Russell – to see you.”
I said to the guy on the phone, “I think I have found my card, there is someone to see me.” Everybody looked, can I be that lucky? “Can you hold on for minute while I go check what this guy wants. “I don’t know a Russell so it could be he has found my card.” I said to the IT guy. The IT guy seemed surprised I was even asking, as if you can loose your card, have someone find it and track you down and return it so quick.
Well even before I had time to convince the guy on the phone to ‘give me a minute’, my boss had returned and held out his hand over my desk. There was my identity card! Thank you God. The IT guy couldn’t believe it and the others just said I was so lucky. I had no idea who Russell was, had never heard of him, never met him before.
I believe this is a very solid and sound demonstration of God in my life and in other peoples lives too. Our identity is not in materialism. Our identity is intact, never lost from God, never born and never dying into a material existence. God is a Spirit, we are spiritual neither in nor of matter and we owe matter nothing. (ref: ‘Forgive us our debts’).
So did I ever find out who Russell was? Yes of course. The only reference of my location on the card was a post office box. This chap found the card on the corner of two busy streets near the station. He recognised it as similar to his so picked it up, went back to his office, which happened to be in the same building (yes the same building), different department and looked up the internal dictionary for the name on the card, me. He saw that I worked in the same building on a different floor, caught the lift up and returned it.
As beautiful as that. I too, chose to look up the internal directory for Russell – only the first name, I came up with a long list and selected one of 3 potentially candidates. He was surprised when I rang to thank him and we had a chuckle when I explained I had used the same directory and how grateful I was that he had found it and returned it.
And that’s the end of that story. Well nearly!
Gaining a new understanding of God is always interesting. Knowing the truth is only the first part, to know that you know it is to demonstrate it. It doesn’t matter if it is a small thing or a big thing, to demonstrate the truth even in little things, gives us a firm foundation for any problem that might try to come our way. ‘Stand Porter at the door of thought.’ It allows one to rise higher in understanding with each step, to correct every false material conception of God and man and to heal permanently and completely or to at least demonstrate our level of understanding, fully and completely.
Oh yes and this time, I threw out my holster and got a new one. I also changed my concept of this card, no longer my identity card, my work access card – to better define what it represented. Nothing at all to do with my true identity. Something I should done sooner.
‘And no man putteth new wine into old bottles: else the new wine doth burst the bottles, and the wine is spilled, and the bottles will be marred: but new wine must be put into new bottles.’ Mark 2:22
‘The identity of the real man is not lost, but found through this explanation; for the conscious infinitude of existence and of all identity is thereby discerned and remains unchanged. It is impossible that man should lose aught that is real, when God is all and eternally his.
‘belief is all that will ever be lost.’ S & H 302:3
‘The universe of Spirit is peopled with spiritual beings, and its government is divine Science. Man is the offspring, not of the lowest, but of the highest qualities of Mind. Man understands spiritual existence in proportion as his treasures of Truth and Love are enlarged. Mortals must gravitate Godward, their affections and aims grow spiritual,–they must near the broader interpretations of being, and gain some proper sense of the infinite,–in order that sin and mortality may be put off.’ S & H 264:32